Monday I got a call from my rheumatologist and after getting a call from my orthopedic doctor and hearing all the symptoms I was put on the cancellation list and now have an appointment this week. I am so grateful for this as we have so many questions yet.
So how am I feeling. Overall I feel pretty good. Sunday night I ate something that actually triggered a reaction which gave me a headache, hip pain, rib pain, upper spine pain, and jaw pain all within about 2 hrs after eating it. Thankfully by morning it went away. So we will hold off on those foods and try them again later to see if we get the same reaction. Because of the diet I think that is a huge reason as to why I am feeling as good as I am. I don’t have much for pain except for the headaches which seem to be happening less often. I did not have a headache all day Sunday but did that night. Yesterday and Today I really haven’t had one either. I have also had quite a bit of upper back pain that has started this week which is waking me up at night. I’m hoping PT will help with that.
Emotionally I am so up and down with this all. I am mostly frustrated as to why this all suddenly started. I am frustrated with trying to change my diet and not having the energy to make all these new things. What I do love is that the food is incredibly good and really not that hard to make. I am struggling with finding options for snacks that are healthy and that won’t cause inflammation and that are diet friendly. I was really excited to find some options on Pinterest but I am hesitant for fear of it triggering something and also having to go buy more ingredients that I don’t have. It will come with time. There is much more that is inside my head emotionally but hard to put it into words right now.
I get upset with myself when I get down because there are so many hard things that others have dealt with or are dealing with that I chastise myself for feeling this way. I have to learn to accept this reality but I also have to tell myself its okay to mourn what I feel I lost or am losing. I am so afraid of what the future holds and making the wrong decisions. I am fearful for the kids sake because they see me upset. It’s hard to hide everything from them when it just is so overwhelming at times. But today was a better today so hoping for another good day tomorrow.