Tonight i put the dash after my Grandpa’s name on our birthday calendar and entered May 7, 2013. The day of his death. I lost it and broke down in tears. The last few days of funeral preparations and saying goodbye to my Grandpa was easier at the time but as i walked in the door the emptiness set in. It’s not that i saw my Grandpa often but it was always a joy to see him.
The day of the prayer service was when it really sunk in that he was gone because we saw his body in the casket. I was sad but knew he was in Heaven. During that evening i was able to spend some time with my sweet Grandma. She would say “i wish that dad would come out of this…” She would wait and then say “Oh he’s gone isn’t he” And i would say he is, he is in heaven. I would tell her about how he is partying it up with his siblings and his parents and his son and even our little baby. Grandma just smiled. We had that conversation over and over a few times. It was really sad to see her so confused. At times she would say i just won’t be able to live alone anymore in the house ill have to go somewhere i suppose. I would tell her and remind her that she is living in the nursing home and have lots of wonderful people living here with her and wonderful nurses to help her. Another time she made the comment about living in the house i asked her where she lived, on the farm? She said no the house in town. She hasn’t lived there for 8 years.  After another conversation about Grandpa being gone, i would remind her that he was in heaven, then she comforted me with quoting this song
This world is not my homeI’m just passing through.
My treasures are laid up far beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from heavens open door.
And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.
It was such a joy for me to hear her quote that multiple times so i could write it down. I have heard the song a few times but it was like hearing it freshly for the first time to know she believed that with all her heart. She told me that she was ready to go. I said that was ok, i understand but i like you here too. But I will see you on the other side of heaven.
We as a family spent the afternoon before the prayer service remembering Grandpa and telling stories. It was a joy to be a part of that and tell a few stories as well. Pastor Harry did a wonderful job relaying those stories during the funeral. Many brought fits of laughter and even tears. Yesterday afternoon was spent relaxing some but then visiting some more. That night the cousins gathered at my parents house for a bonfire or as Gavin called it a bull fire. We shared an evening of stories and lots of laughter as we reconnected as a family.  It was a very fun evening that ended so soon as many family members left for home during the night. It was sad to say Goodbye to Grandpa but a blessing to be together as a family again.
So as i continue to take the time to process this past week i am sad. It was a very busy week that was full of more memories and a vision of the future of more death of loved ones but also the promise of eternity in heaven together. What a joy it is to know that everyone knows Jesus in our family, to know we all will see each other on the other side.